Hallelujah
by Life Is A Highway66
Summary: One minute he could be happy, then the next it's like it only just happened... I think I'm ignoring all the signs... Nicky's POV. Nicky/Rod
1. Part One

**Hallelujah **by Life Is A Highway66

So, this idea has been pestering me since I watched an episode of Scrubs. They used one of my favourite songs (Hallelujah), and put that with my boyfriend breaking up with me, you come up with a typical story of mine. And I know Nicky's OOC… I just wanted to bring out a more sensitive side to him :D**  
Disclaimer **I don't own anything to do with Avenue Q, if I did; I would have seen it by now! :c

* * *

**Part One**

I don't believe I could ever recall seeing such a beautiful sight before me, a sight of which I would be able to indulge myself in every night. His build being illuminated by the strip of dim light coming from between the curtains across the other side of the room, his head seemingly bobbing to the rhythm of his chest rising and falling with each deep breath he would take.

What felt most remarkable was that for the first time in six months, I could watch him sleep without Ricky at his side, or a feeling of guilt, or regret pulling on my conscience. For the first time in six months, I knew that Rod was single. Ricky had left him days prior to this (or he had left Ricky… If I'm honest, my roommate _was _kind of hesitant to give away any details as to what caused it).

I can remember that day well, he and Ricky were going out to the park to celebrate their six month anniversary. Rod had left the apartment practically skipping in delight, and so the last thing I expected was him to storm through the door little more than half an hour later…

* * *

"_What's wrong?" I asked, watching him as he walked straight past me. He stopped, didn't move for a moment, before turning his head to face me, he just shook his head, then he turned around and began his way to the bedroom. I jumped up from the sofa and followed him, snatching his hand. "Rod… Buddy… What happened?"_

_He only took his hand back, but with more force than I ever imagined him using. "Nothing." _

"_Bullshit." I said without realising. But I guess it got his attention. He just stared at me, his eyes filled with tears, and yet, there seemed to be no emotion in them at all. He seemed to stare straight through me, and yet there was something in this look which felt like a bucket of cold water being thrown over me. "Ricky…?"_

_At just mentioning his name, Rod launched himself at me, throwing his arms around me before finally settling with his head rested on my chest. "Why doesn't he love me, Nicky? Why?!" I was too taken back to answer at first, but as I went to answer, he continued, "I love him so much, he means the world to me! I don't know what to do without him!"_

"_Oh, c'mon, Rod." I shushed him, leading him over to the couch, we sat down, but he pushed his head up against me even more than he already was, putting an arm around his back, I continued, "You don't need him. You have your friends. There's me, Princeton, Kate, Gary, I bet Brian and Christmas Eve would help you. Hell, I'm sure that even Trekkie would… In his own way."_

"_I need him, Nicky…" I didn't say anything to this, I knew that he would keep on saying this until he came to his senses that there was plenty more fish in the sea. There was a silence. His sobs were muffled by my jacket, but every so often, his hands would lose grip on my back, and he would grasp onto something else. After a minute he finally looked up. "Make me pretty, Nicky."_

_I wanted to laugh at this, how pathetic he could seem sometimes. But in a split second decided against it; he needed me, and as a friend, I would be there to help. "Rod, c'mon. You _are _pretty." He calmed down slightly at this._

"_Really?" I nodded and he rested his head against me again, most probably going to cry again. "Nicky?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_I- I really think…" He paused for a moment, looking up at me. There was a moment in which nothing was heard, he moved closer to me, seemingly examining my expressions, looking to the ground he closed his eyes and sighed. "You're my best friend."

* * *

_

"'Morning Nicky… Or should I say _afternoon_?"

If ever there was one thing that really pissed me off about Rod, was the fact that he was a morning person. He always got up at seven on weekdays, which I understood because he had to get to work and all, but when this trend continued into weekends, it made me wonder if I should have put his picture over the internet again; there's always a single man on the internet, looking for a 'bit of fun' somewhere. And if it worked, Rod sure as Hell would be in a coma until midday, or wouldn't be able to walk properly.

"Hello to you," I mumbled in reply, picking up my mug of coffee he always made for me. I sat on the sofa, and there was an uncomfortable silence. From that moment I could tell what sort of mood Rod was in; today, he was upset, and he would make everyone else's life a nightmare. "Hey, Christmas Eve and Brian said they were coming to the Avenue for a quick visit today, do you want to come and see them?"

There was a moment in which nothing was said; I looked behind me, wondering if he was still there. He was, and yet, he continued not to answer. As I was about to enquire again, I got an answer.

"Uh, if it's okay with you. I'm going to stay in today. I'm not in the mood to go out."

_Strange_…

I didn't act against the feeling that something was wrong as I turned to the television and turned it on. I began watching some soap opera omnibus, which basically summed up that some woman, had been sleeping around and had been impregnated by her husbands' best friends' worst enemy, and had to quickly pretend that it was her husband who knocked her up. After five minutes or so, Rod sat down next to me. I watched him silently as I cradled the mug of warm liquid between my hands. He didn't sit back in the seat like he, and everyone else, does. Instead he sat on the edge of his seat, resting his head in his hands.

I ignored all of these signs.


	2. Part Two

**Hallelujah **by Life Is A Highway66

Holy shit! I'm so sorry those of you who wanted an update! I started this at a very difficult time in my life (divorce, break ups, friends, finishing high school, starting college, a few people in my life passed away), and now everything's only just started to calm down! The good news? I saw Avenue Q twice in London before it closed!  
Anyway, I nearly had this finished, but my computer decided to stop working, thus losing a ton of work and stories! Just a warning of a morbid ending...

* * *

**Part Two**

I sat on the steps to the apartment building, head in my hands and elbows digging into my thighs. I ignored the uncomfortable feeling, and focused on the music that was seeping from mine and Rod's window. I had gone out early, before Rod was awake, and when I had returned, the music was playing. It was early afternoon now, and as the soft wind pulled the tune nearer to me, I couldn't figure out what was stopping me from going into the apartment. There was a moment of silence. Then the piano started again. _I heard there was a secret chord, that David played and it pleased the Lord..._ Why? Why was I finding it so difficult to bring myself to go to that damned apartment? My thoughts were interrupted by the figure out Princeton. He leaned against the railing and looked up to the window. "Wow," He mumbled, "What's with him?"

I sighed, "I dunno, he's just bein' weird, and there ain' nothin' I can do." For the first time in the majority of the day, I looked up. A rigid motion, however; my neck has tensed up and it hurt to move it even slightly. "What _can _I do?" There was a silence. His blank expressions looking straight through me, before he looked back up to the window. "He's been weird since Ricky broke up with him." This was intended for no one, but secretly I wished to get Princeton's attention. "I wish there was somethin' I could do..."

"Get them back together." Princeton, I guessed, blurted out. I looked to him again, and he seemed shocked at the fact that he had said this idea out loud. It was an idea, and so I sat in silence, and waited for him to elaborate on his idea. At least one cycle of the song passed before he continued, "I mean, you can try and convince Ricky to go out on another date with him tonight, or tomorrow."

I hated the fact that if Ricky agreed, I wouldn't be able to watch Rod sleep. But right now, I had an even bigger urge; the urge of wanting to see my best friend happy again. I knew that Ricky worked in a diner only a few blocks away, and so it could be only a matter of a few hours before I saw my best friend smile again. I stood, grabbed Princeton's arm, and before he could even take in what was going on, we were halfway to the diner.

* * *

_The worst decision I've ever made. Why couldn't I of gone into the apartment? The ending of this tale would have changed dramatically_.

* * *

We waited five minutes as Ricky served a few elderly customers. Under the apron and uniform, it was difficult to believe that he was sporting rock hard abs, and preferred men, to be honest; especially in the way in which he was flirting with the majority of female customers as they swooned as he walked past them. When he saw Princeton and I, he rolled his eyes, and it came to my attention that he may have deliberately of been going slow to make us wait even longer. Why? Was all I could think. Why was he pissed at us, when it was him who had broken up with _my _best friend?

He finally got to us, and took off his apron, throwing it on the back of the stool that was pushed against the breakfast bar. I realised then why Rod must have been so heart-broken that Ricky had broken up with him. The tight shirt he was wearing defined his abs even more perfectly than I remembered. "What do you want?" He growled.

"Uhm." _What the fuck's his problem_? I could hear me and Princeton thinking the same thing simultaneously, "I was wondering if you can do something for R-"

"No." He snapped, walking closer. A glare beginning to form. I was beginning to wonder why the Hell Rod was so sad to see this nutcase go. "I'm not doing anything for him again. Nor for you. Tell him that if he wants something, to ask himself. Not to ask his _bitch _to ask."

Princeton spoke up this time, pressing his hand against Ricky's chest, and trying to push him away. "Look, we're just trying to cheer Rod up. Whatever reason it is that you broke up with him, can't you just put it behind you and go on one more date?"

His glare fell; making way for a more sorrowful expression. "Wow. You two really are stupid." He stepped back from Princeton's hand, and put his arms around his chest. "What do you think you know about mine and Rod's relationship?"

"You end-"

"No. No I didn't." He chuckled, biting his lip. "Y'know. I doubted Rod when he told me that his roommate was naïve. But now I think; I was the stupid one. I deserved better than him all along. I hate the fact that I have to look like a babbling moron like you. The night that Rod broke up with me, he told me he was so in love with his roommate that he thought going out with me would make him happy – and that I looked so much like him."

"Wha-?" I asked. How had I not seen this before? Of course Rod was in love with me! Jesus! Staying up late to make sure I got home okay. Constant calls to make sure I was breathing. That night I heard him talking to someone... How upset he had said my name. He was dreaming of us. Not just us but... _us_. Then earlier... _I- I really think... I really think I love you, Nicky!_

"I just laughed." Ricky continued, "I mean, you're straight, right? There's no way that you'd be interested in a relationship with another man?"

_I- I really think... I really think I love you, Rod!_

* * *

I ran home.

I don't know why. Some part of me always knew what I would find in the bedroom. But I continued to run. I don't know what happened to Princeton. I don't know what happened to anyone I pushed over in my attempt of getting into the apartment. I just had to get there. I had to make sure my gut feeling was wrong.

I slammed the door open to the apartment building, ignoring Kate's cries of "Nicky, what's wrong?". I flew up the stairs, not remembering my feet touching a step as I crashed into the apartment. The music was playing. All other doors to the bedroom and bathroom were shut. The coffee table was cluttered with papers.

_I love you Nicky_

_Why doesn't he love me_

_He'll realise soon_

_I LOVE NICKY_

I stumbled back, and my gut turned. My attention was toward the door of the bedroom. I had slowed down. The steps were slow. A few seconds between them. My hand was on the door handle. That was when I began to cry. Almost as if the piece of wood was whispering to me. _You've done it. You've gone an' killed yer lover_. I creaked the door open. As soon as I did, the ground swallowed me. All that was left was my knees on the floor. Fist banging against the carpet. And cries of lost lovers echoed.

I knew that I would never see my angels feet touch the floor again.

_I've seen your flag on the marble arch, _

_But love is not a victory march,_

_It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah,_

_Hallelujah..._

* * *

_For Jared and Danny  
_


End file.
